DATING Me comes with a user manual
DATING Me comes with a user manual
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A CPtsd Mom's Guide to Relationships
A CPtsd Mom's Guide to Relationships
Let's Get Real:
Let's Get Real:
How is anyone with trauma—or a full-blown case of Cptsd—supposed to navigate relationships, let alone healthy ones? The dating world is already a minefield of “What did they mean by that?” and “Should I text back now or in 3-5 business days?” Add trauma to the mix, and suddenly it feels like you're trying to onboard someone into a job they didn’t even apply for.
The (Unofficial) Guidebook to Dating Me:
1. Chapter 1: Morning Mayhem
Imagine waking up next to someone who either:
Is sobbing uncontrollably because of a nightmare.
Or has bolted out of bed like they’re auditioning for an action movie.
Do you include this in the "warning" section? Something like: "Caution: Sleepovers may include spontaneous panic attacks. Not responsible for your confusion."
2. Chapter 2: The Rulebook You Didn’t Sign Up For
I get it, boundaries are important, but why does it feel like I’m handing someone a contract?
“Don’t touch me when I say don’t touch me." No, your hug won’t fix it, Brad; it will just piss off my inner gremlins.
Or, when I say, "I need space", that doesn’t mean send me memes for the next three hours. It means SPACE!
If you can’t handle boundaries, this relationship isn’t for you. But if you can? Congratulations, you’ve unlocked level one. And at this rate, should I just hand out laminated copies of my triggers on the first date?
If you can’t handle boundaries, this relationship isn’t for you. But if you can? Congratulations, you’ve unlocked level one. And at this rate, should I just hand out laminated copies of my triggers on the first date?
Chapter 3: The Trust Fall (Without the Falling)
Trust is hard. Like, I-don’t-even-trust-my-own-instincts- or decision making sometimes hard.
You tell me you’re here for me? My brain whispers, “But for how long?”
You promise you’re not like the rest? My trauma snarks back, “We’ll see about that.” Building trust is less about big gestures and more about consistency: showing up, respecting boundaries, and not making me feel like a burden for needing reassurance.
Chapter 4: The No-No List
Some things just don’t work for us trauma survivors:
Surprises? Large crowds? Hard pass.
Sudden changes in plans?" (cue internal meltdown)
Conflict? Oh, we’ll avoid that like its lava, but internally spiral for days.
Maybe I should include a checklist titled “Things That Will Absolutely Freak Me Out.”
The Takeaway:
If you’re dating someone with trauma, remember this: it’s not about fixing them. It’s about learning their rhythm and loving them in a way that feels safe.
If you’re dating someone with trauma, remember this: it’s not about fixing them. It’s about learning their rhythm and loving them in a way that feels safe.
And if you’re the one with trauma, it’s okay to set boundaries, to mess up, and to feel like a walking guidebook. You’re not too much; you’re just enough for someone who’s willing to read the manual.
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